Wendy Liebman Quotes

People Always Come Up To Me And Say That My Smoking Is Bothering Them....well It's Killing Me!

I Took An Acting Class. After The First Day, The Teacher Quit, So They Said Take Another. When I Saw 'how To Be A Stand-up Comedian,' It Resonated. I Realized I'd Rather Make 200 People Laugh Than Make One Person Cry.

I've Been Pitching A Show Of Five Female Stand-up Comedians Through The Generations, From Phyllis Diller To Amy Schumer, So When I Got An E-mail Asking Me If I Would Participate In The Women In Comedy Festival, I Was Thrilled.

I Don't Think I Was Funny Until College. I Lived With Some Harvard Md/phd Students - They Were So Smart, And What I Contributed To The House Was, I Was The Funny One.

I Get My Sense Of Humor From My Parents. That's Why They Don't Have One Anymore.

In Addition To Comedy, I'm A Writer. I Write Checks. They're Not Very Good.

I Don't Like To Channel Surf. You Guys Like It, Don't You. You Guys Like To Change The Channel. We Like To Change You.

I Think There Have Always Been Funny Women, From Carol Burnett To Joan Rivers. When The Audience Sees A Woman, They Innately Know She's Worked Twice As Hard To Get There, She's Had To Prove That She Can Be The Leader, First, And Then Be Funny On Top Of It. She Has To Emit A Confidence That She's In Control.

I Found Out Why Cats Drink Out Of The Toilet. My Mother Told Me It's Because The Water Is Cold In There. And I'm Like: How Did My Mother Know That?

I Just Got My First Bikini. It's A Three-piece: A Top, A Botton, And A Blindfold For You.

Is There A Doctor In The House? My Parents Want Me To Marry You.

I've Been On So Many Blind Dates, I Should Get A Free Dog.