Best Witty Quotes - Inspiring & Motivational Collection

Never Fight An Inanimate Object.

Cleanliness Becomes More Important When Godliness Is Unlikely.

Let's Reintroduce Corporal Punishment In The Schools - And Use It On The Teachers.

The Mystery Of Government Is Not How Washington Works But How To Make It Stop.

When Buying And Selling Are Controlled By Legislation, The First Things To Be Bought And Sold Are Legislators.

I Was So Amazingly Witty When I Had The No. 1 Movie, You Have No Idea. People Laughed At Every Single One Of My Jokes. Then When I Hadn't Had A Hit For Three Or Four Years, Some Of These Same People Pretended They Didn't See Me When I Walked In The Room.

Blessed Is The Satirist; And Blessed The Ironist; Blessed The Witty Scoffer, And Blessed The Sentimentalist; For Each, Having Seen One Spoke Of The Wheel, Thinks To Have Seen All, And Is Content.

A Man Who Has Never Made A Woman Angry Is A Failure In Life.

Sex And Religion Are Closer To Each Other Than Either Might Prefer.

The Characters Can't Be Wittier Than People Are In Real Life. They Have To Be Character Witty.

I Have A Very Low Level Of Recognition, Which Is Fine By Me.

He Is One Of Those People Who Would Be Enormously Improved By Death.