I Don't Like To Channel Surf. You

I Went To The 30th Reunion Of My Preschool. I Didn't Want To Go, Because I've Put On Like A Hundred Pounds.

I Don't Think I Was Funny Until College. I Lived With Some Harvard Md/phd Students - They Were So Smart, And What I Contributed To The House Was, I Was The Funny One.

I'm Going To Get Married Again Because I'm More Mature Now, And I Need Some Kitchen Stuff.

My Mother Always Said Don't Marry For Money, Divorce For Money.

I Found Out Why Cats Drink Out Of The Toilet. My Mother Told Me It's Because The Water Is Cold In There. And I'm Like: How Did My Mother Know That?