I've Been On So Many Blind Dates,

I Went To The 30th Reunion Of My Preschool. I Didn't Want To Go, Because I've Put On Like A Hundred Pounds.

I Go Running When I Have To. When The Ice Cream Truck Is Doing Sixty.

I Get My Sense Of Humor From My Parents. That's Why They Don't Have One Anymore.

Is There A Doctor In The House? My Parents Want Me To Marry You.

The Only Way To Really Have Safe Sex Is To Abstain. From Drinking.