List of Sam Ewing Quotes

There's No Thief Like A Bad Movie.

The Sight Of Home Looks Best After You've Traveled Hundreds Of Miles To Get Away From It.

Success Is When Your Name Is In Everything But The Telephone Directory.

On Every Commercial Flight, The Traveler Is Told, "your Seat Cushion Can Be Used As A Flotation Device". The Question Is, Why Doesn't The Plane Just Become A Boat?

Some People Are Much Like Blisters-they Don't Show Up Until The Work Is Done.

A Man Commented To His Lunch Companion: My Wife Had A Funny Dream Last Night. She Dreamed She'd Married A Millionaire. You're Lucky, Sighed The Companion. My Wife Dreams That In The Daytime.

Nothing In The World Can Replace The Modern Swimsuit, And It Practically Has.

Nobody's Too Fat - They're Just Too Short.

Nobody Ever Asks A Father How He Manages To Combine Marriage And A Career.

Wouldn't You Like To Weigh What It Says On Your Driver's License?

Crime In The Cities Is Very Discouraging. Apartment House Dwellers Have Locks, Bolts, Chains And Bars On Their Doors. It Takes A Tenant Longer To Get Out Than A Burglar To Get In.

Nothing Is As Frustrating As Arguing With Someone Who Knows What He's Talking About.