There's No Thief Like A Bad Movie.

"tell Me, Doctor, " Said The Patient, "when I Stand On My Head, The Blood Rushes To It. Why Doesn't It Rush To My Feet Now?" "that's Because Your Feet Aren't Empty," Said The Doctor.

When You Finally Go Back To Your Old Home, You Find It Wasn't The Old Home You Missed But Your Childhood.

Inflation Is When You Pay Fifteen Dollars For The Ten-dollar Haircut You Used To Get For Five Dollars When You Had Hair.

Vacation: Two Weeks On The Sunny Sands - And The Rest Of The Year On The Financial Rocks.

An Expert Is Someone Called In At The Last Minute To Share The Blame.