There's No Thief Like A Bad Movie.

Nothing Is As Frustrating As Arguing With Someone Who Knows What He's Talking About.

On Every Commercial Flight, The Traveler Is Told, "your Seat Cushion Can Be Used As A Flotation Device". The Question Is, Why Doesn't The Plane Just Become A Boat?

As A Child, A Library Card Takes You To Exotic, Faraway Places. When You're Grown Up, A Credit Card Does It.

Crime In The Cities Is Very Discouraging. Apartment House Dwellers Have Locks, Bolts, Chains And Bars On Their Doors. It Takes A Tenant Longer To Get Out Than A Burglar To Get In.

Many Trees Could Be Saved If The Government Stopped Printing Tax Forms.