Nobody's Too Fat - They're Just Too

Half Of All Home Accidents Happen In The Kitchen, And The Family Has To Eat Them.

"tell Me, Doctor, " Said The Patient, "when I Stand On My Head, The Blood Rushes To It. Why Doesn't It Rush To My Feet Now?" "that's Because Your Feet Aren't Empty," Said The Doctor.

On Every Commercial Flight, The Traveler Is Told, "your Seat Cushion Can Be Used As A Flotation Device". The Question Is, Why Doesn't The Plane Just Become A Boat?

Success Is When Your Name Is In Everything But The Telephone Directory.

The Sight Of Home Looks Best After You've Traveled Hundreds Of Miles To Get Away From It.