Buddy Hackett Quotes

Why Should I Be Angry At Someone When They Are Out Dancing?

Ya Know, If You Treat Every Comic The Way You Treated Me Tonight, You Would Never See A Bad Show.

Your Financial Cost Can Best Be Figured Out When You Realize That If You Were To Devote The Same Time And Energy To Business Instead Of Gold, You Would Be A Millionaire In Approximately Six Weeks.

What Makes A Comedian Has Nothing To Do With Religion. Think Of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, Who Were All Catholics.

If It's Dirty, It's Not Funny, But If It's Funny, It's Not Dirty.

When I Do An Hour-and-a-half Show, If I Don't Improvise 20 Minutes Worth Of New Material Each Night, I Feel I've Let Myself Down.

A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm Tangent To The Circle.

The Menu Of My Mother Consisted Of Only Two Choices: Leave It Or Take It

You Want To Know What Makes Me Tick, I'll Tell You What Makes Me Tick. I Was A Boy Growing Up In Brooklyn; I Read A Two-penny Magazine Called 'the Hawk's Nest.' Nobody Entered That Nest That Didn't Leave A Little Richer And A Little Wiser. And That 11-year-old Boy Said, 'isn't That A Wonderful Thing.' And That's All There Is To It.

I Have The Gift Of Laughter. I Can Make People Laugh At Will. In Good Times And In Bad. And That I Don't Question. It Was A Gift From God.

I've Had A Good Day When I Don't Fall Out Of The Cart.

Golf Is More Fun Than Walking Naked In A Strange Place, But Not Much.