Why Should I Be Angry At Someone

Golf Is More Fun Than Walking Naked In A Strange Place, But Not Much.

As A Child My Family's Menu Consisted Of Two Choices: Take It Or Leave It.

When I Do An Hour-and-a-half Show, If I Don't Improvise 20 Minutes Worth Of New Material Each Night, I Feel I've Let Myself Down.

I Have The Gift Of Laughter. I Can Make People Laugh At Will. In Good Times And In Bad. And That I Don't Question. It Was A Gift From God.

Ya Know, If You Treat Every Comic The Way You Treated Me Tonight, You Would Never See A Bad Show.