When I Do An Hour-and-a-half Show, If

A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm Tangent To The Circle.

You Want To Know What Makes Me Tick, I'll Tell You What Makes Me Tick. I Was A Boy Growing Up In Brooklyn; I Read A Two-penny Magazine Called 'the Hawk's Nest.' Nobody Entered That Nest That Didn't Leave A Little Richer And A Little Wiser. And That 11-year-old Boy Said, 'isn't That A Wonderful Thing.' And That's All There Is To It.

My Wife Said To Me, "i Want To Be Cremated." I Said, "how About Tuesday?"

I've Had A Few Arguments With People, But I Never Carry A Grudge. You Know Why? While You're Carrying A Grudge, They're Out Dancing.

Don't Carry A Grudge. While You're Carrying The Grudge, The Other Guys's Out There Dancing.