Golf Is More Fun Than Walking Naked

I've Had A Few Arguments With People, But I Never Carry A Grudge. You Know Why? While You're Carrying A Grudge, They're Out Dancing.

The Menu Of My Mother Consisted Of Only Two Choices: Leave It Or Take It

Golf Is More Fun Than Walking Naked In A Strange Place, But Not Much.

Ya Know, If You Treat Every Comic The Way You Treated Me Tonight, You Would Never See A Bad Show.

I Have The Gift Of Laughter. I Can Make People Laugh At Will. In Good Times And In Bad. And That I Don't Question. It Was A Gift From God.