A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm

Don't Carry A Grudge. While You're Carrying The Grudge, The Other Guys's Out There Dancing.

Ninety-nine Percent Is In The Delivery. If You Have The Right Voice And The Right Delivery, You're Cocky Enough, And You Pound Down On The Punch Line, You Can Say Anything And Make People Laugh Maybe Three Times Before They Realize You're Not Telling Jokes.

My Wife Said To Me, "i Want To Be Cremated." I Said, "how About Tuesday?"

I Have The Gift Of Laughter. I Can Make People Laugh At Will. In Good Times And In Bad. And That I Don't Question. It Was A Gift From God.

A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm Tangent To The Circle.