A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm

Your Financial Cost Can Best Be Figured Out When You Realize That If You Were To Devote The Same Time And Energy To Business Instead Of Gold, You Would Be A Millionaire In Approximately Six Weeks.

As A Child My Family's Menu Consisted Of Two Choices: Take It Or Leave It.

If It's Dirty, It's Not Funny, But If It's Funny, It's Not Dirty.

I Found Out That If You Made People Laugh, They Like You. Most People Got To Like Me Because I Made Them Laugh. When They Didn't, I Hit Them.

You Want To Know What Makes Me Tick, I'll Tell You What Makes Me Tick. I Was A Boy Growing Up In Brooklyn; I Read A Two-penny Magazine Called 'the Hawk's Nest.' Nobody Entered That Nest That Didn't Leave A Little Richer And A Little Wiser. And That 11-year-old Boy Said, 'isn't That A Wonderful Thing.' And That's All There Is To It.