The Menu Of My Mother Consisted Of

What Makes A Comedian Has Nothing To Do With Religion. Think Of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, Who Were All Catholics.

Ninety-nine Percent Is In The Delivery. If You Have The Right Voice And The Right Delivery, You're Cocky Enough, And You Pound Down On The Punch Line, You Can Say Anything And Make People Laugh Maybe Three Times Before They Realize You're Not Telling Jokes.

Ya Know, If You Treat Every Comic The Way You Treated Me Tonight, You Would Never See A Bad Show.

My Wife Said To Me, "i Want To Be Cremated." I Said, "how About Tuesday?"

The Menu Of My Mother Consisted Of Only Two Choices: Leave It Or Take It