List Of Golf Quotes

You Can Smoke Or Drink On A Golf Course Without Interrupting The Game, And You Can Take A Leak - Something You Can't Do On A Squash Court And Shouldn't Do In A Swimming Pool.

The Great Thing About Starting Golf In Your Forties Is That You Can Start Golf In Your Forties. You Can Start Other Things In Your Forties But Generally Your Wife Makes You Stop Them, As Bill Clinton Found Out.

Golf Combines Two Favorite American Pastimes: Taking Long Walks And Hitting Things With A Stick.

I'm In Semi-retirement, But What Am I Going To Retire To? I Don't Ride Horses, I Don't Golf Anymore. I Shoot A Game Of Pool Every Now And Then.

Golf Was My First Glimpse Of Comedy. I Was A Caddy When I Was A Kid. I Was On The Golf Course Rather Than Being In Lessons, But I Can Play Better Now Than I Could Then.

When You Did The Job, You Thought You Were Just Trying To Amuse Your Friends Who Are All On The Job. I'm Just Trying To Make The Sound Guy Laugh, The Script Supervisor. A Movie Like Caddyshack, I Can Walk On A Golf Course And Some Guy Will Be Screaming Entire Scenes At Me And Expecting Me To Do It Word For Word With Him. It's Like, 'fella, I Did That Once. I Improvised That Scene. I Don't Remember How It Goes'. But I'm Charmed By It. I'm Not Like, 'hey, Knock It Off'. It's Kind Of Cool.

But I Can Only Take So Much Tv, Because There Is So Much Advice. I Find People Will Preach About Virtually Anything - Your Diet, How To Live Your Life, How To Improve Your Golf. The Lot. I Have Always Had A Thing Against The Mister Know-it-alls.

When I Quote Others I Do So In Order To Express My Own Ideas More Clearly.

A Smart Girl Is One Who Knows How To Play Tennis, Golf, Piano -- And Dumb.

Golf Cannot Be Played In Anger, Or In Any Mood Of Emotiional Excess. Half The Golf Balls Struck By Amateurs Are Hit If Not In Rage Surely In Bewilderment, Or Gloom, Or In Cynicism, Or Even Hysterically - All Of Those Emotional Excesses Must Be Contained By The Professional. Which Is Why Balance Is One Of The Essential Ingredients Of Golf. Professionals Invariably Trudge Phlegmatically Around The Course - Whatever Emotions Are Seething Within - With The Grim Yet Placid And Bored Look Of Cowpokes, Slack-bodied In Their Saddles, Who Have Been Tending The Same Herd For Two Months.

The Smaller The Ball Used In The Sport, The Better The Book.

I Always Said That If They Have A Golf Course Like This In Heaven, I Want To Be The Head Pro.