I Never Prayed That I Would Make

The First Time I Played The Masters, I Was So Nervous I Drank A Bottle Of Rum Before I Teed Off. I Shot The Happiest 83 Of My Life.

Then Lee Trevino And Jack Nicklaus Come In. I'll Caddie For Jack.

When I Used To Gamble, I Looked For Players With Head Covers On Their Irons. Those Guys I Could Beat.

Golf Is The Most Fun You Can Have With Out Taking Your Clothes Off.

I Have 13 Dependents. All Of Them Have 140 Iq Or Better, Except Me. I'm Under 100 Iq, And I Support Them All.