They've Finally Come Up With The Perfect

Nowadays, When A Speaker Tells The Graduates That The Future Is Theirs--is That A Promise Or A Threat?

My Wife Sent Me A Valentine Card That Said, "take My Heart, Take My Lips, Take My Soul." That's Just Like Her. She Kept The Good Parts For Herself.

I Wanted To Get The Guy Who Works Next To Me In The Office Something He Really Wants, But How Do You Wrap Up A Saloon?

I Can't Tell You His Age, But When He Was Born The Wonder Drug Was Mercurochrome.

The Problem With Life Is, By The Time You Can Read Women Like A Book, Your Library Card Has Expired.