I Gave My Wife A Twenty-five-dollar Gift

Poverty Is Not A Disgrace, But It's Terribly Inconvenient.

I Know Why Superman Left Krypton. Earth Was The Only Place Where He Could Get Steriods!

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door, But Only As Long As It's Not Visible From The Street.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.

Do You Want To Feel Insecure? Count The Number Of Christmas Cards You Sent Out, And Then Count Those You Received.