She Was So Fat That Her Clothes

One Year They Asked Me To Be Poster Boy - For Birth Control.

I'm Not A Hypochondriac, But My Gynaecologist Firmly Believes I Am.

I Was So Ugly My Mother Used To Feed Me With A Sling Shot.

Last Week I Told My Wife, If You Would Learn To Cook, I Could Fire The Chef. She Said, If You Could Learn To Make Love, I Could Fire The Chauffer.

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."