She Was So Fat That Her Clothes

[on 8/24/04, Before Entering A Los Angeles Hospital For Heart Valve Replacement Surgery] If Things Go Right, I'll Be There About A Week, And If Things Don't Go Right, I'll Be There About An Hour And A Half.

I Tell Ya When I Fly, I Don't Get No Respect. I Took One Of Those Cheap Flights, No Frills. I Finished Eatin' And Had To Do The Dishes.

To Give You An Idea How Well I Was Doing At The Time I Quit, I Was The Only One Who Knew I Quit.

I Once Went Out With This Wild Girl. She Made French Toast And Got Her Tongue Caught In The Toaster.

She Was So Fat That Her Bikini Is Made Out Of Two Bed Sheets (king-size).