My Wife Gives Good Headache.

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.

I Live In A Tough Neighborhood. They Got A Children's Zoo. Last Week, Four Kids Escaped.

I Went To Look For A Used Car And Found My Wife's Dress In The Back Seat.

The Sign On The Bar Said: 'girls- Topless, Bottomless', I Went Inside And There Was Nobody There!