For Christmas One Year I Bought My

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

My Parents Didn't Like Me. For Bathtub Toys They Gave Me A Blender And A Transistor Radio.

You Know You're Old When Your Family Talk About You In Front Of You. What Are We Going To Do With Pop? We Have Company Tonight.

Steak And Sex, My Favorite Pair. I Get Them Both Very Rare.

Last Week My Tie Caught On Fire, Some Guy Tried To Put It Out With An Axe.