I Looked Up My Family Tree And

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

I Once Went Out With This Girl, She Was No Bargain Either, She Showed Up With Pigtails Under Her Arms.

My Wife She's Fat. Why, If She Lost A Few Pounds, She'd Be Perfectly Round.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.

It's Lonely On The Top When There's No One On The Bottom.