When I Was Born I Was So

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.

It's Tough To Stay Married. My Wife Says No Because She's Tired Then Stays Up And Reads Her Book.

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.