I Don't Get No Respect. I Called

I Was So Ugly My Parents Had To Hang A Pork Chop Around My Neck To Get The Dog To Play With Me.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. My Mother Breast Fed Me Through A Straw.

I Tell Ya, With My Wife, I Got No Sex Life. Her Favorite Position Is Facing Bloomingdale's.

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

She Failed Her Drivers Test. She Couldn't Get Used To The Front Seat. It Took Her Four Lessons To Learn To Sit Up.