Don't Carry A Grudge. While You're Carrying

I Found Out That If You Made People Laugh, They Like You. Most People Got To Like Me Because I Made Them Laugh. When They Didn't, I Hit Them.

As A Child My Family's Menu Consisted Of Two Choices: Take It Or Leave It.

The Menu Of My Mother Consisted Of Only Two Choices: Leave It Or Take It

At The Sahara, The Seats Are Banked And Most Of The Audience Is Looking Down At The Stage. Everybody In The Business Knows: Up For Singers, Down For Comics. The People Want To Idealize A Singer. They Want To Feel Superior To A Comic. You're Trying To Make Them Laugh. They Can't Laugh At Someone They're Looking Up To.

Ninety-nine Percent Is In The Delivery. If You Have The Right Voice And The Right Delivery, You're Cocky Enough, And You Pound Down On The Punch Line, You Can Say Anything And Make People Laugh Maybe Three Times Before They Realize You're Not Telling Jokes.