List Of London Olympics Quotes

I Grew Up Not Really Thinking I Had A Disability. I Grew Up Thinking I Had Different Shoes.

Well, Harry Reid And Other Members Of Congress, They're Just Furious Over This Olympic Uniform Deal. He Says We Should Burn The Uniforms, And It's An Embarrassment And A Disgrace. Not As Embarrassing As Congress Constantly Borrowing Money From The Chinese, But Still Embarrassing.

In The Spirit Of The Olympic Games, They Traditionally Ask That All Fighting And Warfare Around The World Stop. So, There's Hope For A Ceasefire Within The Jackson Family.

The Queen Of England Jumped Out Of A Helicopter And Parachuted Into The Stadium. What Was Even More Amazing Was When Prince Charles Flew In Using His Ears As A Hang Glider.

The First Olympic Games Were Held In 776 Bc. Do You Know Who Lit The Flame? Betty White.

The Geiger-counter Of Olympomania Is Going To Go Zoink Off The Scale.

The Opening And Closing Ceremonies Of The London Olympics Are Mass Satanic Rituals Disguised As A Celebration Of Britain And Sport. Their Medium Is The Language Of Symbolism.

Everything Went Smoothly At The Sailing Events Today, Except For The British Team. They Forgot To Bring Limes And They All Got Scurvy.

It Was A Great Olympics - Team Usa Finished The Games With 17 More Medals Than China. China Said It Was Tough To Swallow - Especially When They Had To Make All Of Our "we're #1" T-shirts.

Mitt Romney Will Travel To London Where He Will Attend The Olympics Opening Ceremony. Of Course It's Going Ot Be Weird When They're Announcing All The Countries, And He's Like 'got A Bank Account There, Got One There, Two Bank Accounts There.'

Officials At The London Olympics Will Be Conducting 5,000 Tests For Steroids. Or As Lance Armstrong Calls That, 'a Monday.'

Well China, You Got Us. Phelps Was Doping - And He Still Beat You. He Smoked The Sticky-icky, And Then He Smoked Your Ass!