The Queen Of England Jumped Out Of

President Obama And House Speaker John Boehner Have Agreed To Play A Round Of Golf Together. Imagine The Two Of Them At The End Of That Golf Game? Boehner Will Be Crying Over His Score And Obama Will Be Giving Three Explanations As To Why His Score Is Actually Better Than It Appears.

Kerry Is Saying That Bush Never Showed Up For His National Guard Duty ... And Now Bush Is On The Attack. He's Accusing John Kerry Of Ducking Time In The National Guard By Hiding Out In The Jungles Of Vietnam.

The Healthcare Reform Bill Now Includes A Tanning Booth Tax Of 10 Percent. You Know What This Means? This Whole Thing Could Be Funded By The Cast Of 'jersey Shore.'

Anyway, A Spokesman For Barack Obama Says The Prisoners That Are Released From Guantanamo Will Either Be Sent Back To Their Home Countries Or Enter The New York City Cab Driver Training Program.

Now See, A Lot Of Critics Are Saying Arnold Can't Get Elected Because He's Just An Ambitious Guy With A Famous Name, Who Doesn't Know Anything About Running The Government. Didn't Hurt George Bush.