The First Olympic Games Were Held In

So, It's Pretty Crazy. Look, We're Bailing Out Wall Street, We're Bailing Out Banks, We're Bailing Out Car Companies. In Fact, Did You Know There's A Special Box On Your Tax Form This Year You Can Check If You Want A Portion Of Your Taxes To Actually Go To Running The Government?

Have You Seen The Cover Of Newsweek? They Have Martha Stewart On The Cover, But It's Not Actually Martha. It's A Doctored Photo. They Put Martha's Head On A Slimmer Woman's Body. And Martha Was Very Upset About This. She Said, 'hey, If I Wanted My Face On Another Woman's Body, I'd Stay In Prison.'

In Greece, The Unemployment Rate Has Risen To 22%. The Solution To The Problem Was To Raise Taxes On The Rich, According To The Greek President Barack Obama-opolis.

106 [degrees] In The Valley... I Was Sweating Like Dan Rather Checking For Forged Documents.

It's Always Bad News When You Kill Your Date