Officials At The London Olympics Will Be

John Walker Lindh, A Twenty-year-old American Studying In Pakistan, Was Captured In Northern Afghanistan Fighting For The Taliban. Experts Call It The Worst Semester Abroad Program Ever.

Thank You... 'real Housewives Of Atlanta,' For Demonstrating A Universal Truth: Idiots Like Me Will Always Watch Idiots Like You Fight On Tv. You Will Forever Be In My Tivo.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

Hillary Clinton Is Receiving Criticism After Telling A Crowd To 'unlock Their Full Potential,' Because That Line Is Commonly Used By Another Possible Candidate, Carly Fiorina. People Said, 'you Can't Just Steal Someone's Slogan Like That!' And Hillary Said, 'yes We Can!'

John Mccain Addressed Critics Who Believe He Will Be Too Old To Run For A Sixth Term In The Senate, Saying That He's Still Healthy And Ready To Go. Then People Around Mccain Said, 'why Is He Talking To That Mannequin?'