You Know You've Reached Middle Age When

Tokyo Cab Drivers Are All Ex-kamikaze Pilots.

At The Academy Award Dinners All The Actors And Actresses In Hollywood Gather Around To See What Someone Else Thinks About Their Acting Besides Their Press Agents.

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

My Folks Were English. They Were Too Poor To Be British. I Still Have A Bit Of British In Me. In Fact, My Blood Type Is Solid Marmalade.

I Only Speak A Little Pigeon French. Just Enough To Get By With The Little French Pigeons.