Women Are Like Cars: We All Want

To Get A Man's Attention, Just Stand In Front Of The Tv And Don't Move. He'll Talk To You. I Promise.

I've Gotten So Far Past The Android And Iphones That I'm Back To A Flip-phone. It's Funny, You Can Buy Antique Flip-phones Online. A Lot Of Us Collect Them. Clearly, They're Considered Antiques.

Anytime You Work With Animals, You Begin To See More Humanity In Them.

I Like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, Screw The Middle Man. Just A Tube Of Sugar... I'd Pour Two Of Those In A Big 12 Ounce Coke. And I'd Go Out To Catechism Class And Try To Concentrate On The Priest. I Saw Jesus Several Times. I Swear I Did.

Men Are Liars. We'll Lie About Lying If We Have To. I'm An Algebra Liar. I Figure Two Good Lies Make A Positive.