Women Are Like Cars: We All Want

I'm A Pretty Solid Christian. But Even As An Altar Boy, I Was Always Asking The Bigger Questions--you Know: If God Is, In Fact, Good, What Is All This Death I See? And If God Is Gentle, What Is All This Suffering I See? I've Found Some Of The Answers In Eastern Religion. It Explained My Christianity To Me. Good And Evil Are The Same Thing. You Can't Have One Without The Other. It's The Balance, It's The Temperance Of Things.

A Guy Knows He's In Love When He Loses Interest In His Car For A Couple Of Days.

Women Are Brilliant. Every Woman Knows How To Do The Weirdest Thing Right Out Of The Bucket. Every Woman Knows How To Do That Hindu Head Wrap With The Towel Out Of The Shower. A Typhoon Couldn't Blow That Thing Off Their Heads. Ever Try To Do That? You Look Like A Drunk Iraqi Soldier.

I Have Way Too Many Commitments. I Get Pulled In Too Many Directions And I Never Seem To Be Able To Satisfy Anybody. People Get Turned On By Knowing A Celebrity, Even My Friends And Family. They Feel That There's Something Exciting About Me, But In Reality There's No Substance To It. People In Airports Just Hold On To Me Expecting Something And It Seems That I Always Come Up Empty. It's Frustrating Because I'm Trying To Please Everybody, And Ya Just Can't Do That ... At Least I Can't.

The Greatest Missile In The World Is Useless ... Unless It's Targeted. A Torpedo Is Adrift Unless It Has Someplace To Go. An Arrow Is Pointless Unless It Hits Something. So It's Important For Kids--for Everyone, Even If You Fail At First--to Target Something And Head In That Direction. With All Your Might.