Man Is The Only Animal To Borrow

My Stepfather Stepped In Where No Man Would've Stepped In - Six Kids, Five Of Them Boys - And That's Heroic.

When I Went To Jail, Reality Hit So Hard That It Took My Breath Away, Took My Stance Away, Took My Strength Away. I Was There Buck Naked, Humiliated, Sitting In My Own Crap And Urine - This Is A Metaphor. My Ego Had Run Off. Your Ego Is The Biggest Coward.

I Think Women Like Ferraris. A Ferrari Is Everybody's Car.

The World Is Your Oyster When You Are Successful. That Was When I Was Getting Scripts. I Was Planning For This. I Like This Business. Parts Of It I Love, And I Didn't Want It To Just End. The Further You Get Away From Your Success, The Less Your Phone Rings. The Next Thing You Know, It's 20 Years Later And You're In A Mall Going, "remember When Al And I Used To Do Something Like This.

While Awaiting Sentencing, I Decided To Give Stand-up Comedy A Shot. The Judge Had Suggested I Get My Act Together, And I Took Him Seriously.