I'm One Of These Guys That Just

Never Comment On A Woman's Rear End. Never Use The Words 'large' Or 'size' With 'rear End'. Never. Avoid The Area Altogether. Trust Me.

I Have Way Too Many Commitments. I Get Pulled In Too Many Directions And I Never Seem To Be Able To Satisfy Anybody. People Get Turned On By Knowing A Celebrity, Even My Friends And Family. They Feel That There's Something Exciting About Me, But In Reality There's No Substance To It. People In Airports Just Hold On To Me Expecting Something And It Seems That I Always Come Up Empty. It's Frustrating Because I'm Trying To Please Everybody, And Ya Just Can't Do That ... At Least I Can't.

I Love Women. I Actually Prefer Girls, As A Parent, Because They Disappoint At A Different Age. They Go Through That, "dad's An Idiot," Which Lasted A Little Longer Than I'd Like.

If You Don't Decide Where You're Going, Life Will Decide For You.

If You Want To Condemn Yourself For The Mistakes You've Made, Let's Be Fair, That Means You've Got To Congratulate Yourself For All The Good Things You've Done. It's Okay To Say, "god, I Wish I'd Done This; Yeah, But I Did Do That." Then It Kind Of Balances Out.