When I Go To The Beach, Even

Remember There Is No Way You Can Give The Father Custody Of The Children Without Getting A Divorce.

Keep At Least One Window Pane Clean To Check The Weather. Once When I Didn't Do This I Sent The Kids Off With Umbrellas For Six Weeks Straight.

Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage. I Nicknamed My Waterbed, Lake Placid!

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

You Know You're Old When Your Walker Has An Airbag.