Housework Can't Kill You, But Why Take

When I Was A Kid And We Used To Play Post Office, I Was The Dead Letter Office.

I Want My Children To Have All The Things I Couldn't Afford. Then I Want To Move In With Them.

When I Go To The Beach, My Grandchildren Try To Make Words Out Of The Veins In My Legs. That's Why I Still Take The Pill; I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.

A Bachelor Is A Guy Who Never Made The Same Mistake Once.

When You Play Spin The Bottle, If They Don't Want To Kiss You They Have To Give You A Quarter. Well, Hell, By The Time I Was Twelve Years Old I Owned My Own Home.