The People Voting For The Oscars Are

In Life The Only Thing That You Can Expect Is The Unexpected; The Only Surprise Is A Day That Has None.

Elizabeth Taylor Was So Fat That Whenever She Went To London In A Red Dress, 30 Passengers Would Try To Board Her.

I Am Furious About Everything.

I Hate Thin People; 'oh, Does The Tampon Make Me Look Fat?'

[on Plastic Surgery:] My Motto Is: 'anything That Can Be Lifted Should Be Lifted. Anything That Falls Should Be Caught. And Try To Catch Any Falling Stuff Before It Hits The Ground.