List of Justin Halpern Quotes

I Feel Like If I'm Going To Give You A Book About My Dad, Then I Really Want To Give You My Dad, Because He Is Interesting And He Is Funny And If You're Buying A Book About Him, I Don't Want You To Have To Sit Through Stuff That's Not Him.

I Just Wanted To Compile These Stories About Growing Up With My Father And I Wanted People To Be Able To Enjoy Them Individually, But Also The Entire Book As A Whole.

I Was An Angst-y Journal Writing Kid.

Although Kurt Vonnegut May Not Be Considered A Humor Writer, 'breakfast Of Champions' Is One Of The Funniest Books I've Ever Read.

The Thing With Bill Shatner Is He Brings Something Unique To Everything He Does. He's Not The Obvious Choice For Anything, But He Always Brings Something Special To It.

There Is No Definitive Guidebook On How To Pick The Right Partner, And Even If There Were, I'm Way Too Dumb To Write It.

Writing A Book Is Incredibly Pleasurable, But Very Solitary. You Have Total Control, But Sometimes That Can Drive You Insane.

I'm Not A Guy Who Curses Very Much In My Personal Life. When I Curse It Sounds Like A Kid Trying To Be Cool. But I Think There Are Quite A Few People, My Father Being One Of Them, Who Use Curse Words Rather Eloquently.

Sometimes Its Nice When People You Love Need You.

[the] Majority Of The Girls Working There Had Major Emotional Problems. And Not Cries-too-much Emotional Problems; More Like Stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself Emotional Problems.

The Internet Has Really Democratized Ideas. There Are No Real Gatekeepers Any More, Because If You Have A Great Idea, And You Put It Online, People Will Find It And It Will Get In Front Of Who It Needs To Get In Front Of.

My Parents Had Irrational Fears Of Mexico And Assumed That Once You Crossed The Border, Drug Runners Made You Swallow A Heroin Balloon And Then Within The Hour You Were In A Bathtub Full Of Ice And They Were Harvesting Your Kidneys.