Santa Claus Has The Right Idea -

Well, All's Fair In Love, War And Fooling The Critics.

When An Opera Star Sings Her Head Off? She Usually Improves Her Appearance.

Did You Know That Mozart Had No Arms And No Legs? I've Seen Statues Of Him On People's Pianos.

One Afternoon, When I Was Four Years Old, My Father Came Home, And He Found Me In The Living Room In Front Of A Roaring Fire, Which Made Him Very Angry. Because We Didn't Have A Fireplace.

Occasionally, A Finger Comes Up To Wipe A Tear [of Laughter] From The Eye... And That's My Reward... The Rest Goes To The Government.