Santa Claus Has The Right Idea -

I Wish To Thank My Parents For Making It All Possible? And I Wish To Thank My Children For Making It Necessary.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

I Don't Mind Going Back To Daylight Saving Time. With Inflation, The Hour Will Be The Only Thing I've Saved All Year.

When An Opera Star Sings Her Head Off? She Usually Improves Her Appearance.

Many People Have Asked Me Why There Are Three Pedals In These Grand Pianos. Well The Pedal In The Middle Is There To Separate The Two Other Pedals.