Santa Claus Has The Right Idea -

I Learned To Play The Piano On My Mother's Knee - That Was Before We Got A Piano.

The Conductor Is A Peculiar Person. He Turns His Back On His Friends In The Audience, Shakes A Stick At His Players In The Orchestra, And Then Wonders Why Nobody Loves Him.

The First Piano Was Built Long After They Didn't Have Any At All.

Many People Have Asked Me Why There Are Three Pedals In These Grand Pianos. Well The Pedal In The Middle Is There To Separate The Two Other Pedals.

(referring To The Piano's Natural Shape) Isn't It A Shame When Those Big Fat Opera Singers Lean Against The Pianos And Bend Them?