I Only Know Two Pieces; One Is

And Now, In Honour Of The 150th Anniversary Of Beethoven's Death, I Would Like To Play 'clear The Saloon', Er, 'clair De Lune', By Debussy. I Don't Play Beethoven So Well, But I Play Debussy Very Badly, And Beethoven Would Have Liked That.

Flint Must Be An Extremely Wealthy Town: I See That Each Of You Bought Two Or Three Seats.

I Do Not Have A Single White Note On My Piano; My Elephant Smoked Too Much.

How Nice. Now The Germans Can Sleep In Peace, Knowing That They Will Not Be Invaded By Us.

You Want Something By Bach? Which One, Johann Sebastian Or Jacques Offen?