I Only Know Two Pieces; One Is

Flint Must Be An Extremely Wealthy Town: I See That Each Of You Bought Two Or Three Seats.

If I Have Caused Just One Person To Wipe Away A Tear Of Laughter, That's My Reward.

Mendelssohn Never Wrote Any Water Music. However, He Wrote The Scotch Symphony, Which Is Even Better, Or At Least Stronger.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

I Don't Mind Going Back To Daylight Saving Time. With Inflation, The Hour Will Be The Only Thing I've Saved All Year.