My Wife Is A Real Puritan. She

The Only Thing That Can Break A Piece Of Valentine Candy Is Another Piece Of Valentine Candy.

I Don't Mind Personal Insults, But When You Insult The Jokes That I Tell You're Insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns And Allen, Trevor Mcgee And Molly Picon.

We Inherit A Lot From Our Parents: Mom's Eyes, Dad's Chin, And The Attitude Of Whichever Parent Isn't Punishing You At The Moment. All Of Those Things We Have Our Mom's To Thank For."if Evolution Really Works, How Come Mothers Only Have Two Hands?"

I Know Why Superman Left Krypton. Earth Was The Only Place Where He Could Get Steriods!

I Bought My Son A Bat For Christmas. On New Year's It Flew Away.