My Wife Is A Real Puritan. She

This Is How It Is Today: The Teachers Are Afraid Of The Principals. The Principals Are Afraid Of The Superintendents. The Superintendents Are Afraid Of The Board Of Education. The Board Is Afraid Of The Parents. The Parents Are Afraid Of The Children. The Children Are Afraid Of Nothing!

I Never Stole A Joke In My Life. I Just Find Them Before They're Lost.

I Take New Years With A Grain Of Salt And Three Aspirins.

My Doctor Told Me That Jogging Could Add Years To My Life. I Think He Was Right. I Feel Ten Years Older Already.

A Man Is Hit By A Car While Crossing A Beverly Hills Street. A Woman Rushes To Him And Cradles His Head In Her Lap, Asking, Are You Comfortable? The Man Answers, I Make A Nice Living.