My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

My Wife And I Keep Fighting About Sex And Money. I Think She Charges Me Too Much.

I Asked My Wife If She Would Put Out The Garbage. She Said Why Should I You Never Put Out For Me.

Last Time I Saw A Mouth Like That, It Had A Hook In It.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.