I Tell Ya When I Fly, I

What A Kid I Got, I Told Him About The Birds And The Bee And He Told Me About The Butcher And My Wife.

My Wife Isn't Very Bright. The Other Day She Was At The Store, And Just As She Was Heading For Our Car, Someone Stole It! I Said, "did You See The Guy That Did It?" She Said, "no, But I Got The License Plate."

I Went To Look For A Used Car And Found My Wife's Dress In The Back Seat.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.

I Tell Ya, My Wife's A Lousy Cook. After Dinner, I Don't Brush My Teeth. I Count Them.