Laughter Is An Instant Vacation.

An Adult Western Is Where The Hero Still Kisses His Horse At The End, Only Now He Worries About It.

Anytime A Person Goes Into A Delicatessen And Orders A Pastrami On White Bread, Somewhere A Jew Dies.

Your Marriage Is In Trouble If Your Wife Says, 'you're Only Interested In One Thing,' And You Can't Remember What It Is.

My Wife Is A Real Puritan. She Thinks Licking The Stamp On The Envelope Of A Valentine Is Foreplay.

Why Are We Honoring This Man? Have We Run Out Of Human Beings?