I've Always Felt England Was A Great

My Idea Of Christmas, Whether Old-fashioned Or Modern, Is Very Simple: Loving Others. Come To Think Of It, Why Do We Have To Wait For Christmas To Do That?

Eighty Is When You Order A Steak And The Headwaiter Puts It Through The Blender. Or When You Wake Up As Many Times During The Night As Burt Reynolds, But Not For The Same Reason.

You Could Buy My Book In A Paperback Edition For A Dollar, And In Hard Covers For $3.50. And For Fifty Cents Extra, I Come Around To Your House Personally And Wet Your Finger While You're Turning The Pages.

I Have This Terrific Make-up Man. But He's Expensive. I Have To Bring Him In From Lourdes.

I Don't Know If The Presidential Candidates Are Running For The White House Or Animal House.