Golf Is My Profession Show Business Is

I Never Kick My Ball In The Rough Or Improve My Lie In A Sand Trap. For That I Have A Caddie.

The Good News Is That Jesus Is Coming Back. The Bad News Is That He's Really Pissed Off.

It's Not Hard To Find Gerry Ford On A Golf Course - You Just Follow The Wounded.

The Audience Was Swell. They Were So Polite They Covered Their Mouths When They Yawned.

Personally, I Never Drink On Oscar Nights, As It Interferes With My Suffering.