If I Had That Kind Of Money,

If You Haven't Got Any Charity In Your Heart, You Have The Worst Kind Of Heart Trouble.

As The Colonel And I Sat Swapping Stories In The Plane, A Jet Aircraft Buzzed Past Our Window. I Asked The Colonel What Type Of Aircraft It Was, And He Said, "don't Worry About It, Bob. . . If You Can See It, It's Obsolete."

If You Watch A Game, It's Fun. If You Play It, It's Recreation. If You Work At It, It's Golf.

You Know You're Getting Old When The Candles Cost More Than The Cake.

Jack Benny Really Liked My Book. I Know Because He Called Me Up From The Library And Told Me.