I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing

It's Amazing How Many People You See On Tv. I Did My First Television Show A Month Ago, And The Next Day Five Million Television Sets Were Sold. The People Who Couldn't Sell Theirs Threw Them Away.

Isn't It Fun To Go Out On The Course And Lie In The Sun?

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

I Have This Terrific Make-up Man. But He's Expensive. I Have To Bring Him In From Lourdes.

Golf Is My Real Profession. Entertainment Is Just A Sideline. I Tell Jokes To Pay My Greens Fees.