I'd Rather Have Two Girls At 21

Wouldn't It Be Terrible If I Quoted Some Reliable Statistics Which Prove That More People Are Driven Insane Through Religious Hysteria Than By Drinking Alcohol.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

All Englishmen Talk As If They've Got A Bushel Of Plums Stuck In Their Throats, And Then After Swallowing Them Get Constipated From The Pips.

A Man Who's Intoxicated All The Time Doesn't Need Sympathy.

I Cook With Wine, Sometimes I Even Add It To The Food.