I Know My Limit. I Just Keep

Mom Used To Say I Didn't Run Away From Home My Destiny Just Caught Up With Me At An Early Age.

She Has An Electric Blender, Electric Toaster And Electric Bread Maker. She Said "there Are Too Many Gadgets And No Place To Sit Down!" So I Bought Her An Electric Chair.

Today's Comics Use Four-letter Words As A Shortcut To Thinking. They're Shooting For That Big Laugh And It Becomes A Panic Thing, Using Four-letter Words To Shock People.

I Don't Hate My Enemies. After All, I Made 'em.

I'd Have Avoided Some Of The Pain If I Could. Anyone Would. But I Wouldn't Have Missed Knowing Any Of The People-even The Ones Whose Leaving Hurt Most. In Fact, The Only Thing I'm Sorry About Is That I Didn't Meet One Particular Guy, A Clown Named Joe Skelton. You Know, He Sure Picked The Right Profession. I Mean, A Clown's Got It All. He Never Has To Hold Back: He Can Do As He Pleases. The Mouth And The Eyes Are Painted On. So If You Wanta Cry, You Can Go Right Ahead. The Make Up Won't Smear. You'll Still Be Smiling. . . .