I Married Miss Right. I Just Didn't

I Was A Sober As The Next Guy. The Only Problem Is The Next Guy Was Dean Martin

There Are Three Signs Of Old Age: Loss Of Memory ... I Forget The Other Two.

A Fellow Told Me He Was Going To Hang-glider School. He Said, 'i've Been Going For Three Months. ' I Said, 'how Many Successful Jumps Do You Need To Make Before You Graduate?' He Said, 'all Of Them. '

When Anyone Hurts Us, My Wife And I Sit In Our Japanese Sand Garden And Drink Iced Tea. There Are Five Stone In The Garden - For Sky, Wind, Fire, Water, And Earth. We Sit And Think Of Five Of The Nicest Things We Can About The Person Who Hurt Us. If He Hurts Us A Second Time, We Do The Same Thing. The Third Time, We Light A Candle, And He Is, For Us, Dead.

I Won't Mind Dying If I Can Tell St. Peter A Joke He Hasn't Heard.