Exercise? I Get It On The Golf

I Don't Pick On Politicians. They Ain't Done Nothin'.

There Are Three Signs Of Old Age: Loss Of Memory ... I Forget The Other Two.

She Has An Electric Blender, Electric Toaster And Electric Bread Maker. She Said "there Are Too Many Gadgets And No Place To Sit Down!" So I Bought Her An Electric Chair.

I Don't Hate My Enemies. After All, I Made 'em.

Television: The Device That Brings Into Your Living Room Characters You Would Never Allow In Your Living Room.