Exercise? I Get It On The Golf

I Married Miss Right. I Just Didn't Know Her First Name Was Always

I've Put On A Lot Of Weight... I Only Weighed Six And A Half Pounds When I Was Born.

I'd Have Avoided Some Of The Pain If I Could. Anyone Would. But I Wouldn't Have Missed Knowing Any Of The People-even The Ones Whose Leaving Hurt Most. In Fact, The Only Thing I'm Sorry About Is That I Didn't Meet One Particular Guy, A Clown Named Joe Skelton. You Know, He Sure Picked The Right Profession. I Mean, A Clown's Got It All. He Never Has To Hold Back: He Can Do As He Pleases. The Mouth And The Eyes Are Painted On. So If You Wanta Cry, You Can Go Right Ahead. The Make Up Won't Smear. You'll Still Be Smiling. . . .

If I Can Make People Smile, Then I Have Served My Purpose For God.

I Don't Need Glasses, But I've Just Reached The Age Where Curiosity Is Greater Than Vanity.